We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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