Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
