You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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