around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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