bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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