I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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