The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
