I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
