I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize