My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
