you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
