why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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