He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
