My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
