Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
