Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She said her name was "party"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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