FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Drake has all the answers
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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