i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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