Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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