I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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