i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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