There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
