My first STD was from a foam party
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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