What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
