know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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