According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She announced her abortion via fbk
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
