honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
