she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
two words...techno handjob
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
