im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
