Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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