I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize