Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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