yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
