No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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