so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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