I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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