Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
