At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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