I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
