This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
smell my finger.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
