omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize