hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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