Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is Oprah even human
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
