OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
