I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
