Grow some girl-balls and come out already
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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