Dual....:-)
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
