I think my vagina is haunted
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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