the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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