thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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