i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
