yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
