I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
