What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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