Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize