I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
