Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize