fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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