i was born a porn star she said
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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