I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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