Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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