My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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