I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
