Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
