i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
