Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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