omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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