Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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