drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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