Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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