Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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