i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
