At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
