I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
