oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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