FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
