if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm like, not good at living.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
